I spent much of Saturday putting up Christmas lights and driving back and forth to the hardware store. Why the hell don't house builders put outlets on the front of the house? Silly me, I thought I'd try something different this year with a little lighted snowman and some lighted vine balls hung in the tree. So, there is now an 80 foot extension cord running around to the backyard outlet, which come to find out, is on the same circuit as the bathroom outlets and the, uh, furnace. Furnace goes on, pretty lights go out. We still have the standard string of chunky colored lights across the front of the garage, but I mistakenly got flasher replacement bulbs at Orchard Supply (nowhere did it say flasher on the box), so now only two green bulbs blink on and off, like a failing neon sign at a rundown motel.

I'm beginning to prefer the pagan celebration of Yule: all you need is a bunch of candles, some wine, and a really big log.