What happened to Top Chef? I tuned in last night for the latest episode and all they showed was some kind of weird extended infomercial for Bertolli frozen dinners featuring Rocco DiSpirito 2.0. So the Big Bertolli Secret is that they--get this--freeze the individual ingredients separately. Wait, I'm not entirely sure I got that. Could you repeat it one more time? And then once more with feeling? As much as they'd like you to think this is groundbreaking stuff, normal people have been doing it for years.

It also appears the denoument where Joey stumbles tearily into the kitchen to say goodbye was recreated because surely that's Howie sitting in the folding chair by the door? Wasn't he just standing there at Judges' Table when Joey was told to pack his knives? Are there TWO Howies? God help us.

I managed to empty two boxes last night and can now actually walk right up to my kitchen sink. The pile of boxes in the corner of the dining area resembles the Matterhorn. Koosh likes to climb up and sit on the top, but I can't get her to wear little kneesocks and lederhosen.

Isis, always the problem solver, is adjusting to not having a shower door track from which to drink in the morning. By the way, my shower curtain is not studded with rhinestones; those are water droplets.